Saturday, January 8, 2011

Feeling Lonley

Well 2011 its only Jan 8th and you have already made me stressed, uncertain about thinsgs in my life and feeling very lonley in this healing process.I know no one said it was going to be easy or happen over night but god I really need your help? I need you to look after me and my daughter and make sure everything is going to be okay for us. I feel so weak. I put a smile on my face more to show people im not hurting on the outside but its really not true....It was really hard for me today to go to Lacheles baby shower and see everyone today the beltrans are really the best family I have ever met and I couldnt be more happy that my daughter will be with them for life. I get so sad having to leave them or not knowing when the next time i may see them, but at the same time it only makes me sad. I need to start thinking about myself and my emotions that come along with seeing them, I do hope that everyone of them knows how truly blessed i am to have met each and everyone of them and I will love them all forever I feel like I need to go my way it just hurts me to bad weston and I are over. When i am stronger i promise you all i will see you :)  i have chosen to be alone recently and I think it will only make my next relationship better i cant move on while im still not over Weston its not fair to anyone I date and I would hate to hurt anyone more than i already have to not be ready. I will be ready and I hope sooner than later but only time will tell. I found out today my step brother and his fiance are expecting another baby in Sept and I couldnt be more happy for them. I get super excited about all my friends and there familys. I do get sad as well im not going to lie i wonder how did it not work out for me? what did i do wrong? i tried soooo hard to make my family work and i got left im the one who is alone now:(
It hurts and today is just one of the days i guess...

Jenna

3 comments:

  1. jenna you rock. and ya, it's not going to be an overnight thing getting over w. especially since you have to see him all the time because you have a special tie to him: aijla. whenever i'm down i try to think about all the things i am grateful for. shifting your focus to those things you are grateful for instead of wallowing in despair will be so much better for you and your daughter. find things that make you happy or laugh and have fun and cling to those things - especially in time of sadness. you are a cute girl, and you have a cute baby. live your life and don't regret it by focusing on the past... you have so much to look forward to.

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  2. I think that it awesome that you are writing down whats going on. I hope that life gets easier for you and that you and your daughter can truely be happy in a family together one day! You deserve it! Please let me know if there is anything I could do to help. Family is the best and even its a family of friends that you have beside you through all of this. It only going to better your relationships with them! Keep it up! SMILE :)

    Jessica Frame

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  3. Jenna hang in there, everything will work out in the end. I'm so glad you're writing about what you're going through because it is something that many of us can relate to and get inspiration from. I'm going through a very similar situation right now (but without a kid) and it's so hard. Time will heal wounds, and eventually you'll become more excited about the future. For now you have a beautiful little girl to hold on to.

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