Friday, December 31, 2010

New Years Eve -

New Years Eve today (: "sigh"..... can I tell you how excited I am to put this year 2010 behind me? Its been a very rewarding year with the birth of my daughter... so the most heartbreaking year!! I have learned with every challenge it has brought me and am only better and stronger than ever. Its time for myself to start coming first I am always so worried about pleasing everyone else and everyone else feelings and I need to be a happy healthy mom for my daughter. Its the most important thing in the world. I am so excited for the opportunities that await me and Aijla.. there are still going to be days that I need an "kick in the butt" but that comes with the healing process. I can finally say I am healing it feels great to know that my day has come:) I am going to focus on my career more and pushing myself more than I ever have I want to succeed and I'm the only one who has the power to do so. I have so many goals I want to accomplish this year for 2011 and I am on the right track. No one is going to control me and what I do I have allowed myself to be strung for so long the past 8 months and I lost control of who the real Jenna is.. its time to move on and make myself happy. Who knows what the future has in store for me and my daughter new people, old people only time will tell... but I do like everyone else... want a happy ending !!!

Have a save and happy new year everyone


Friday, December 17, 2010

Work Christmas Social

Tis the Season once again for our annual work Christmas Social. I call it a social cause its no where near a party haha but its still very fun to get everyone together for a few hours and have some fun.
 cute girls I work with
My little brother Jorden who Works with me as well <3
a few of the ladies in our company homemade the food it was so yummy way better then last year it was like Thanksgiving Dinner all over again.
Shelbi, Myself and Cindy
Thank these wonderful ladies for there hard work in the Kitchen :)
Not really sure who these ladies are... jk We <3 them
It was a fun little get together I won a $50 gift card to Sears witch was nice even though I dont think ive ever even been to Sears... so im gonna go check it out.

Happy Holidays!!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

All good things come to an end...

Well its been finally said and done with December 12 ,2010 it has all come to an end.. I guess you could say I knew this day was coming I was just hoping it never would... wishful thinking i guess :( I gave it my all for the past 7 months with very minimal in return always talking myself into trying more and more everyday even though it hurt so bad. I never wanted to give up on the one thing that mattered to me the most.  Weston called me and i could tell he was upset he said he just wanted to tell me sorry for all the pain he has caused me... well and that was it the conversation was short and ended. If been told to leave Weston alone and to not talk to him unless it has to do with our daughter its very hard for me to cope with. Knowing I'm only hurting myself trying to talk to him when i know the outcome isn't going to change. When something like this is said to you, Quote "Jenna if i wanted to try and make things work I would, if i wanted to hangout with you then I would ask" he even asked me  Quote " Why do you want to be with someone who doesn't want the same thing back?" It finally hit me like a ton of bricks... and i knew it was over i knew for my own sanity i have to move on i should of done this months and months ago but i didn't I can move on with my head held high knowing i did everything i could to be with him. Hes not happy and neither was i to be honest if only he wanted to give it all to me things in my eyes would of been great.. but then again maybe I'm just justifying everything to be with him. He gave me a beautiful daughter and that's all that matters at the end of this hes a great dad with her and as long as hes in her life I'm happy. My emotions are still all over the place there will be days that are better than others but I'm going to keep smiling as i deserve to be happy :) I have deleted the last and finally connection we have tied together (besides our daughter) but that is Fb I'm sick of being hurt and i think the only way for me to heal is to be out of all the drama.. friends family everything its not good for me right now and i really hope this helps.Well i really hope there is never another hurting Blog about me life with Weston.. well actually there probably will be since i know this isn't going to be easy.. but its life and it doesn't always go as planned... until next time keep your fingers crossed for me!!

- Jenna

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Take a Number :)

Wow!! So much has changed in my life I went from thinking I was going to be alone to many opportunities to not be alone!! Its so hard for me to date right now I have gone out a few time with a couple different guys it was fun, I laughed kept my mind occupied for the time being but I still am having the hardest time with it. Guess that means I'm not ready yet you think>? I have no idea what to do... I still talk to Steve every now and then hes a great guy hes just looking for more one on one relationship and its not something I see myself in. We haven't hung out in quite some time. I have met a few others a plumber from my work.. hes super sweet and actually got in touch with some old people i use to go out with they both have little girls that are so cute!! and its a great feeling knowing there are so many boys that are willing to out of there way to show you they care its very flattering to have all these guys throwing themselves at me in all i guess i just wish Weston would see what a great person i really am and want to come home to his family all i can think about is the one who left me broken hearted and doesn't care...  I haven't gone out recently with anyone and I have allot of pressure put on me to continue to hangout with the few i was seeing... I just want to be alone is that OK? I'm not over Weston and its hard for me to even think about being with someone else right now... So many choices in life and I guess I'm trying to figure out what is best for me and my daughter but I think I'm on the right path to healing and everyday i get better and stronger to sometime soon show someone how much love I can give!

New look at life [=

Gosh were to I even start... So much has happened in a better way then that last time I have posted. Weston went back to his old ways of not wanting to make things work once again... shocker huh? haha hes so confused in life its ridiculous i don't doubt that he loves me and one day wants to be with me... but right now he docent want me. Funny thing is he doesn't want me IN his life nor OUT of his life. He is still currently seeing the other chick and that bothers me allot.. no one wants to be treated like this and I believe there is allot more going on then I even know. One thing I do know is that I feel very good about my life I feel OK and that this is where I need to be I don't waste my days and nights crying and begging for him to come back... cause hes just not and there is no point in my wasting my feelings on someone who doesn't care. Its taken me along time to get to this day I mean a REALLY long time... I'm still sad but better than a few months ago I have a beautiful daughter who gets to be with me everyday and its what my life is about. I have still been seeing Weston here and there its definitely not easy by any means but it is what it is. I'm hoping its not to late when he actually lets me know what he wants in life.... one thing i do know its doesn't involve me for the time being. I'm still smiling and doing my thing but there are allot of others out there that are willing to show me exactly what I want I guess when I feel its right for me to give my heart to someone else I will.

Family Pictures

Aijla and I recently went and got out pictures taken with Chad from Faces Photography! It was so cold but I was so excited to finally get some update photos done of me and her. She was being such a good baby and giving me all her faces that we <3. But trust me that didnt last long Im thinking its because she was getting over having a cold and just didnt feel well.
Isnt she the most adorable thing you have ever seen!!!!!!!
We had a good time with what shots we got we didnt stay long cause there ended up being more crying shots than anything.
Hope you Enjoy and Happy Holidays!!