Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Everything Happens for a reason

Today has been one of those days that makes it really hard to see the glass "half full".. I am still struggling to find a job that I know will be great for me and my daughter, I attended the UAA trade show today its a very fun event that allot of vendors set up booths and try and get business I know many people in this industry so I attended with a few of my friends and it was really fun got my name out there a bit more and it was nice for everyone to see my face again.. I was a little thrown off by an ex co worker / boss who said to me, " So what brings you here today?" I was just thinking to myself.. listen B**ch try and take me out all you want however you cant break me so go kick rocks :) Some people think they are better than others however I can remember once when she was in my same position... Right when I am totally fine with one thing in my life there is always something else happening.. I was recently told that someone close to me has joined the Navy this was a complete surprise however I am very happy for him at the same time he needs to do what makes him happy and I know that I haven't always been there for him as much as he would like and I feel bad for this. He is now leaving and there is nothing I can do about it except support him and I will to the fullest. Things happen for reasons unknown sometimes I wish I could change things that have already happened but I cant I just have to go with how I feel in life and if the timing is right then it is. I have met a lot of new people this past month and have been having so much fun with great friends :) I seriously don't know what I would do without Chelsea, Taylor and Alaina they have helped me SO MUCH lately and trying to keep me positive in this job search and I just love them so much and am so happy they are apart of my life... I may just have to move home rent my condo out just to stay a float till I find something its so hard for me to see myself doing cause I have done everything on my own I had everything and now I feel like I'm slowly losing everything... but like they say everything happens for a reason and I'm going to keep reminding myself this and hopefully everything that is meant for me in my life will all happen when its suppose to be (: I'm learning to be patient

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

I am the Lucky One

I am truly blessed to have such a beautiful little girl, it has been such a blessing to be able to be home with her this past month and spend much needed time together. Most of you are aware that Miss Aijla is quite the talker she will have full on conversations with you in her jarggoning jumble :) its the cutest thing ever she just wants to tell you so bad what she is saying. Aijla recently had a birthday she is now ONE and I swear she thinks she is SOO big she goes up and down the couch constantly she would do it all day long if I let her, along with outside she loves to sit on the porch yell things to no one and just enjoy herself. I'm not sure if Aijla or Blaze (dog) like the dog kennel more whenever Aijla gets quite I can always find her sitting in the kennel its so funny she thinks she sneaky!! I don't think Aijla has to many bad days she is always smiling and makes sure her momma is doing the same:) every morning she makes me walk around the house to all the photos of us so she can see.. its adorable she loves looking at herself.... I could be in serious trouble !!!I cant imagine my life without her and I'm glad I never have to she has keep me smiling, being strong, happy and loving my life lately
Keeps me holding on tight telling me everything is going to be alright, we are in this together <3

Stuck together like Glue
 <3 Jenna

Monday, April 11, 2011

Little Bit Stronger!

Can I just tell how nice it feels when you finally start to put yourself first.. theres nothing more draining then trying to please people who don't appreciate you. I'm staying more positive with each new day and its made a real impact in my happiness. I have also been taking dance the past couple weeks and all I can say is how much I have missed this part of my life and i look forward to each new week. Its been really nice being able to spend more time with my daughter while I still look for a job she really is such an amazing little girl and keeps me going strong everyday.I want Aijla to live her childhood and not worry about how her mommy is doing, I wish so many nights I could take back her seeing me cry but I can promise her that its finally over its now my time to be happy for what I do currently have and not what I cant change. I am learning to live again and I really hope others finally can see it in me.I have come a long way from a  year ago and my progress hasn't been fast nor easy but I cant help how I feel no matter how other people look at it, the process has been grueling and I am finally ready to make a difference in my life :)