" When a heart breaks, it don't break even"

Day # 2 without talk, text, or anything from Weston. I feel so much better most days but it's so few and far between. I'm super down this morning and I just don't understand how someone can do this to their family? I'm falling to pieces and he doesn't care. How can someone want a baby and a family and then one day not and just walk away start dating someone else who has small kids and everything just be ok? This hurts so bad, I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired!!! I deserve to be happy to and I feel like this pain isn't going to to away for a really long time :( I miss so much about my family!! I know this isn't just going to go away over night but i just want to feel loved again... is that so much to ask? I tried everything for my little girl to see her parents together and it just wasn't "worth it" to him. It breaks my heart, I never signed up to do this alone... I can do it so that's better than most people can say but it's not what I had planned. I feel so empty and taken for granted BIG TIME. He knows how to get to me and I hate being hurt while hes just out with some other chick then when shes not around hes texing and talking to me... I thought he was somebody different and he totally made me see his true colors. I'm not going to be around forever and i think he thinks that but all he can be to me is Aijla's daddy. He needs to leave the Pieces and go!! I need to be strong and keep my chin up I have a lot going for me in life and I can't let this get to me and bring me down. It's so much easier said then done.

On a better note...

I have started talking to this guy Steve and it's amazing how much someone can impact your life with a little bit of smiles and laughter :) It makes you think about how much better you feel knowing there is someone else out there and you wonder what you have been doing crying over someone who doesn't love you for the past months... I feel like SUPER Jenna when we talk. It's the little things and that's what matter the most. I get giddy and actually look forward to the next time we talk its a great feeling. I'm not ready for a relationship but it's great to have a new friend like this... and maybe when I'm ready it could go somewhere... He keeps me happy and already knows what a great genuine person I am without even really knowing me.