been a while

I wish I had so many exciting things to tell you since the last time I have blogged however there isn't much that is worth talking about ;) I have been putting all my daytime focus on work, making sure everything is done and on time. there are allot of things that I need to accomplish that I haven't quite figured out yet, I feel like there is no one that I can go to and its really effecting me. I'm barley getting by these days financially I have only myself to really make this better for me and my daughter and I'm hoping I can get everything back to how it was 
Putting that aside I'm just being a momma its the best thing in the world Aijla is getting so much personality more and more everyday She is really the only reason I smile :) She is going to be one in a little over a month and its crazy to me how FAST it has gone by shes totally changed she has thinned out a little and its turning into a really beautiful girl.. we went and bought her new earrings this weekend there clear rhinestones in the shape of a heart they look so freaking cute on her and make her just look so much more girly I <3 them.
Tax time came which has been a life saver knowing I can get rid of some debt that I have been holding on for awhile and has really hurt me paying it off alone... so there is a little bit of relief financially for me!! YAY!!!
Haven't really been dating all to much the past month I kind of took myself back from the positions I was in due to not being happy with myself and there is no need dragging someone else into how I feel. it defiantly changed how I look at my life and the best thing I have figured out recently was that I need to start living my life for myself!! I don't really know how to put it into words but there is a part of me that didn't really do the things I wanted cause of the fear Aijla's father would judge me and some how would make me feel horrible about my life... its a terrible thing to think but its how I have been living until about the last few weeks I have decided to slowly let all communication go away unless it was only about our daughter.
Life is going to get better for me I really am going to not give up even though sometimes I feel like its the easiest thing in the world to do I'm not a quitter and wont allow myself to do this.

Hope everyone enjoys there Monday [=