Patience

Why is it so hard to be patient? This I am trying to figure out I feel like I should be able to just have everything I want when I want it.. I know crazy and super selfish but I am working on this every day. Everyday all I hear from so many people is to be patient I have still been looking for a job and its not easy.. ya I could just go out and get any job however I feel like I have enough skill and experience in property management and I just need to be Patient for the right opportunity and it just hasen happened yet. We almost going on 2 months of not working and its really wearing me out I'm trying to stay positive but its so hard so TODAY I'm refocusing my attitude on YES I can do this :)!! I am going to expand my searches to just get in the door to a company even if I have to start at the bottom it will be worth it to me and the company they will see that i am a very good asset!!
When I want something I will do everything in my power to make it happen and i feel like I haven't really wanted to try so hard to actually get work again I have enjoyed being with my daughter however its time I really need the income its finally catching up to me.
I have never really been one to give up on anything I was not born that way... but patience I feel sometimes is a game in life and its a game that I have a hard time playing with I feel like it should just happen.. haha I know I know my girlfriends tell me all the time to RELAX!! I'm a go getter and I'm really trying to not give up on the things I want in life especially LOVE!!!

Well to a new day tomorrow with new goals and to try and be PATIENT like everyone says
"EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON".. IN TRYING TO KEEP THE FAITH WITH THIS <3

Everything Happens for a reason

Today has been one of those days that makes it really hard to see the glass "half full".. I am still struggling to find a job that I know will be great for me and my daughter, I attended the UAA trade show today its a very fun event that allot of vendors set up booths and try and get business I know many people in this industry so I attended with a few of my friends and it was really fun got my name out there a bit more and it was nice for everyone to see my face again.. I was a little thrown off by an ex co worker / boss who said to me, " So what brings you here today?" I was just thinking to myself.. listen B**ch try and take me out all you want however you cant break me so go kick rocks :) Some people think they are better than others however I can remember once when she was in my same position... Right when I am totally fine with one thing in my life there is always something else happening.. I was recently told that someone close to me has joined the Navy this was a complete surprise however I am very happy for him at the same time he needs to do what makes him happy and I know that I haven't always been there for him as much as he would like and I feel bad for this. He is now leaving and there is nothing I can do about it except support him and I will to the fullest. Things happen for reasons unknown sometimes I wish I could change things that have already happened but I cant I just have to go with how I feel in life and if the timing is right then it is. I have met a lot of new people this past month and have been having so much fun with great friends :) I seriously don't know what I would do without Chelsea, Taylor and Alaina they have helped me SO MUCH lately and trying to keep me positive in this job search and I just love them so much and am so happy they are apart of my life... I may just have to move home rent my condo out just to stay a float till I find something its so hard for me to see myself doing cause I have done everything on my own I had everything and now I feel like I'm slowly losing everything... but like they say everything happens for a reason and I'm going to keep reminding myself this and hopefully everything that is meant for me in my life will all happen when its suppose to be (: I'm learning to be patient

I am the Lucky One

I am truly blessed to have such a beautiful little girl, it has been such a blessing to be able to be home with her this past month and spend much needed time together. Most of you are aware that Miss Aijla is quite the talker she will have full on conversations with you in her jarggoning jumble :) its the cutest thing ever she just wants to tell you so bad what she is saying. Aijla recently had a birthday she is now ONE and I swear she thinks she is SOO big she goes up and down the couch constantly she would do it all day long if I let her, along with outside she loves to sit on the porch yell things to no one and just enjoy herself. I'm not sure if Aijla or Blaze (dog) like the dog kennel more whenever Aijla gets quite I can always find her sitting in the kennel its so funny she thinks she sneaky!! I don't think Aijla has to many bad days she is always smiling and makes sure her momma is doing the same:) every morning she makes me walk around the house to all the photos of us so she can see.. its adorable she loves looking at herself.... I could be in serious trouble !!!I cant imagine my life without her and I'm glad I never have to she has keep me smiling, being strong, happy and loving my life lately
Keeps me holding on tight telling me everything is going to be alright, we are in this together <3

Stuck together like Glue

 <3 Jenna

Little Bit Stronger!

Can I just tell how nice it feels when you finally start to put yourself first.. theres nothing more draining then trying to please people who don't appreciate you. I'm staying more positive with each new day and its made a real impact in my happiness. I have also been taking dance the past couple weeks and all I can say is how much I have missed this part of my life and i look forward to each new week. Its been really nice being able to spend more time with my daughter while I still look for a job she really is such an amazing little girl and keeps me going strong everyday.I want Aijla to live her childhood and not worry about how her mommy is doing, I wish so many nights I could take back her seeing me cry but I can promise her that its finally over its now my time to be happy for what I do currently have and not what I cant change. I am learning to live again and I really hope others finally can see it in me.I have come a long way from a  year ago and my progress hasn't been fast nor easy but I cant help how I feel no matter how other people look at it, the process has been grueling and I am finally ready to make a difference in my life :)

Jenna

I can no longer let myself feel like this

There has been A LOT that has gone on in my life this past year that many of you don't know. My daughter is almost one in a couple weeks and its been the greatest. I am truly blessed that I have her in my life. Her dad left shortly after he she was born and realized that being with me wasn't what he wanted. Its been unbelievable hard on me I feel like i haven't made much progress since then and its almost been a year.I have tried to date get my mind of things and I'm just not fully were i need to be in order to give someone my all. I'm truly sorry to those out there i really am. I think being a girl we tend to get over things different some faster than others and I'm just on the slow end. I truly loved Aijlas dad we could of had a great life together and such amazing family.... well actually I still do love him is the thing.I love him just the same even if we never had a daughter..:( I have been through so much that i wish i didn't but at the end i feel like i will come out stronger  than before. My situation has been different then most people know cause i had many reasons to think and feel like there still could be a little "hope". 
i guess all this time i was putting all my effort on this and him. i need to redirect my self and focus on me and my daughter I cant help someone not help there self. He chose to leave and i cant go everyday hoping he will realize that this family that he though he wanted is were he should be. He tells me all the time he doesn't want me out of his life, we text daily call each other daily but yet he doesn't want to be with me either, Someone told me exactly what it was and that its not that he actually misses being with me or he would be, he misses the fact of me being around not me actually...hopefully that makes since to you... I think there is more to it that i wont ever understand or know but I wish he would stop hurting me figure out what he wants and  actually go for it.
He is a great dad now and i am seriously so thankful that aijla will have him in her life she really loves being with him and i need to not let my emotions get in the way. I let him hurt me daily and he doesn't care how i feel you would think that i would want better for myself and i don't have a real response to that.. i just need time away and for me and my daughter its ok that this love didn't work out its ok to be broken it happens to everyone it gets us to were we all are today.
Someone will come into my life and never do anything to hurt me.... its going to take myself to let go and it started today...

You really don't realize what you had till its gone and its too late....

The BIG 25

WOW! I'm 25... not sure if i feel happy about this or sad that I'm getting so old and not were I want to be in life. Its OK ill take happy for now i have a beautiful daughter to have and to hold forever, great friends and amazing family :)  I had a really great day actually everyone was so kind and wished me happy birthday it feels nice to have a day about you especially now that I'm a mom i like it even better. We went to benihanas for dinner me and chels it was so much fun met a really nice couple from Tennessee and they bought our whole mean it was amazing and I will never forget about them and this day.

 after that we went to Keys on Main and it was a blast.. ha ha from what I can remember it was crazy night and i was toast by about 10:30! We got great pictures and I have to say I have the best friends ever Thanks to Chelsea for making sure my hot mess got home safe.

                                                                 Love you all



Unemployed...

well I have been really hard on myself the past few weeks not having a job.. i know right I'm surprised as much as you all. my last post was about me trying so hard at my job... and now this!! i loved my job i tried so hard the past couple months making sure my i's were dotted and my t's were crossed but it wasn't good enough for some people. i loved artspace a lot really thought after 2.5 years i was gonna be there for a long time. its over and I'm trying to make this positive and really think there is something better waiting for me I have a job interview with a company Monday morning and feel really good about it lets hope it all works out. its been really nice spending time with my daughter more however i feel I'm less productive and I'm made to work and provide for my daughter she is all I have and I need to make sure our life is set.

keep your fingers crossed for us!!

xoxo Jenna